So I received a bunch of recommendations of new activities to try - tai chi, artsy kind of stuff (pottery, painting), target shooting, swimming, yoga, etc. All of which are good recommendations. I love swimming, however I can't right now because of the picc line in my arm and not being allowed to get it wet. Sadly none of them have the intensity of training in mixed martial arts - but hopefully whatever I end up doing it will help give me a new outlet.
I had my bandaging changed on my picc line today - and for whatever reason my arm has been burning more than usual at the actual site where the tubing goes into my arm. It's quite annoying actually.
Today was another "fun" day of dealing with my distended stomach. The nurse had asked me to give her a summary of what I ate yesterday - scrambled eggs for breakfast, 1/4 cup of plain bow tie pasta and a 1/2 cup of yogurt for lunch, nothing for dinner and about 16 ounces of water for the day. She looked at me and said, yeah you're definitely not consuming enough. Ya think? I didn't fault her for questions or statements - she is covering for Tess - so she doesn't know everything about me at this point. Today was just some scrambled eggs, some water and a piece of toast. All of which my stomach rejected.
I think I will go on a mental vacation tonight when I sleep. A dream full of some of my favorite foods : Grand Marnier Honey Walnut Shrimp, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Pancakes, Bacon, Green Bean Casserole, Sweet Potatoes - actually all of that mixed together would probably cause a "normal" stomach to revolt. A few adult beverages to accompany my meal - my going out drink - a madris. A night of dancing with my friends - in a cute outfit and cute shoes.
The crazy thing is I am not hungry with all of this - which I still find puzzling. It's the mental part that is challenging me - knowing that these yummy foods are there and I can't have them. Or if I say forget it and eat them anyway - that I am going to be in excruciating pain or worse, in the hospital. It's my senses that get me into trouble - the smell of something delicious cooking or when I am at work and I can smell a co-worker's lunch; seeing these amazing foods while others are eating them...my brain starts going into overdrive wanting to eat them.
But it is what it is I guess. I need to work on finding a way to deal with everything and in the meantime avoid my favorite foods like the plague. Just trying to come to terms and acceptance of everything that is gastroparesis and what that means in my life.
Maybe I'll start with a coloring book and some crayons...I'm good about staying in the lines.
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