Coping mechanisms...

Checked out.

I have been checked out lately.  I realize it's not fair to those around me, but it's where I am at right now.  Too much running through my mind right now that needs to be sorted out - so I need to give it the attention it needs before it continues longer than necessary.

I know everyone has more on their plates than they can handle or process in a day - I am not an exception by any means.  But unfortunately I have a habit of pushing things off to the side and then let them reach a point where I have to shut down to deal with it.  I don't know why - but this is what I do.

So emails have been left unopened and unanswered.

Phone calls have not been made.

I have done the necessary things that I have needed to - family and work - but other than not much else.  Tomorrow will be the day that I will either need to snap out of it or I will put on the required face to get through what I gotta get through.

This condition has me by proverbial balls right now and with everything in me I am trying to fight off what is happening.  This disease does not define me.  I need life to get back to where there are other things to talk about.  It seems that when people talk to me, it's the only topic that comes up.  This disease does not define me.  I need my life back.