Check, check and uncheck...

Lack of energy - check.

Stomach cramps - check.

Nausea - check.

Sore throat from heartburn - check.

Freezing hands and feet - check.

Trying to remain positive and strong-minded - check.

Some days are better than others - but who doesn't have a bad day.  It's when you have several bad days in a row that it starts to become more challenging staying mentally strong.  Add onto that a complete lack of energy and all I want to do is stay in my pajamas and curl up under my blanket.

But I can't do that.  I have a job that I need to show up at.  A husband that needs his wife.  Children that need their mom.  Parents that need me to be a daughter.  A brother who needs me to be his sister.  Friends that need me to...well, be a friend.

It's a battle I have to have with myself every day.  My body is telling me that I need to rest - and some days I listen.  Unfortunately it's trying to tell me every day that I need to rest - and I just can't do that at this point.

There is something to be said about QOL - quality of life.  People naturally want to be happy - want to enjoy activities in life - what to have fun with their loved ones - want to be able to get up and go when the mood strikes.  So what happens when you don't have those things?  What happens when something is affecting you from being able to get out and do the things that you once loved?  What happens when you have a plan in your head of accomplishing certain tasks and then when the time comes, you can't do them because you are running on fumes?

It messes with your head - that's what happens.  One could very easily slip into a depression.  Depression is actually very common in people who suffer from a disease or disorder - especially when there is no cure or "on the outside they look fine".

I am finding that I have been able to avoid the depression at this point - because I am trying to keep my life as normal as possible (ie., not staying in my pajamas everyday like I want to) and surrounding myself with a great support system through family and friends.  I am not however immune to the possibility of becoming depressed.  It will be how I handle it if the day should come.

For now, I will continue as I am - and will continue to find something positive each day.