Wednesday, November 2, 2011

The sunlight is casting my new partner...

This morning started off quite chilly - and of course it is Wednesday, so I had my TPN bag tagging along with me.  It was cold, but the sun was out.

I love when the sun is in my face.  I can close my eyes and all I see is red as the sunlight shines through my eyelids.  Now, I definitely prefer this in the summertime, where the warmth of the sun also dances across my skin - unlike today, where all that danced across my skin was the cold breeze as I rushed from my car into the office this morning.

I had a very busy and productive day - so busy that the time just slipped through my fingers.  I had a brief moment this afternoon, as I walked to get something to eat for lunch, where I could check my personal email.  And yes, I am eating every day.  For the past few weeks, I would say that I actually force myself to eat - since I am not hungry nor do I have a desire to eat.  But I do have a desire to disconnect from this TPN and try to get back to 'normal', even if it ends up being short-lived.  The only way for me to accomplish that goal - is to continue to force myself to eat - and learn to accept the side effects as best as I can.

Anyway, back to my personal email checking.  I had a message from my good friend, with an amazing suggestion - that honestly I am surprised we didn't think of sooner (cause we are smart like that...er, maybe we aren't, lol).  She knows how much I fell in love with my martial arts training and more importantly right now, how much I miss it.  That I am struggling with trying to find something new - that gives me that same feeling that training did - but something my body can handle.  Well, she must have been in my brain - because I have had this 'itch' that when my picc line gets pulled that I wanted to take a beginner kickboxing class...but I know that realistically it is not a good idea.  I am still unable to consume enough calories to go the pace of even the beginner class - it's intense.  But what I can do - and all though it wouldn't be the same as being on the mat - is shadow kickboxing.

I would be able to perfect my technique.  Keep my body moving.  Lose some of this excessive weight that just keeps creeping in on my body every week.  But it would also be good for me mentally.  My training became a very big part of my life - and it's weird to say (or maybe it's not), but it's almost like I am grieving the loss of that part of my life.

So my plan is - starting tomorrow - to get up, stretch, do 15 minutes of shadow boxing and then stretch again.  I will go down into my basement and put on some music and take 30 minutes to myself.  Maybe on the music - as long as it doesn't make me want to punch faster.  For the next week or so - it will just be punches.  Only two punch combinations - something simple and slow.  And then over time I can build onto that - whether it's more punches - dunking and slipping - kicks.

I am excited about trying this.  Only a little nervous of how my body will respond.  I think if anything I might be a little sore just because I have been inactive and unable to do much of anything for so long.  And if I can't go the full 15 minutes tomorrow - then I will go however long my body lets me.  It's all about doing something I love (all though not at the same pace) - it's something that I know - something that my body and my mind both love to do - which means I will be happy doing it.

So for now, the shadow will be my partner.

1 comment:

  1. I hope your pencils were pointing forward and your elbows were in the cups.

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