How sweet it is...

Wow!  Today just flew by.

Super super busy at work and my work ended up carrying over into my evening as well.  The downfall of the day was having to remember to grab my TPN bag each time I jumped up to do something - especially since I was so focused on my work that there were a few times that I just barely caught myself before yanking my tubing.

I did talk to my dietitian today - briefly.  She asked me about my weight - but I don't weigh myself until Tuesday mornings before seeing my nurse, so I was unable to give her this weeks numbers.  I told her though that I was pretty confident that my weight remained the same or that I gained again.  She asked me what I thought about whether or not I needed to go another week on TPN.  I told her it could go either way - that I am still dealing with all of the side effects when eat, but that everything is staying down.

So we ended the call with her telling me to call her tomorrow after I weigh myself and for me to think about what I want to do tonight.  She actually said since my weight has been "stable" - meaning I haven't been losing weight - that we could just maintain my picc line this week and pull it next week.

Surprisingly though - I didn't jump all over it when she said it.  I think in part it's because I am nervous.  I am nervous if it's going to hurt when they take it out.  But I am more nervous about being able to stay off of TPN and not returning to it.

But I decided tonight that I will have the line pulled next week.  I will maintain the picc line for the week and will hopefully not run into any issues.  Keeping my fingers crossed - BIG TIME!

Would love to not have to carry the bag - to not have tubes coming out of my arm - to be able to take a shower without saran wrap around my arm (well, I won't have to do that after my arm heals) - to not have to decide what I wear based upon whether or not it covers up my arm - to be able to go to my 20 year high school reunion in a couple of weeks and feel 'normal'.  To enjoy the freedom of getting up and going again.  To remove the nightly alarm from my phone that reminds me to take my TPN bag out of the refrigerator for the next day.  Freedom.

I'm ready for it - bring it!